Caught

Who are you and why are

you texting my boyfriend?

　

This isn’t good. What was the last thing I told you yesterday?

DFTDT. Don’t Forget To Delete This.

　

Who are you and why are

you texting my boyfriend?

　

How did you get his phone? God, he’s an idiot.

　

WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE

YOU TEXTING MY BOYFRIEND?

　

Sorry, who are you?

　

I’m the girlfriend of the man you

texted 20,000 times yesterday

　

Yeah, that was fun.

　

WHO ARE YOU?

　

I’m not understanding this.
You’re on someone else’s
phone?

　

I’m on my boyfriend’s phone

that has all the texts from your

number yesterday bitch. You

know what phone I’m on

　

I should convince her I’m a guy.

Let Himself deal with that.

　

Alright, no need for the
language. You mean your
boyfriend’s a volunteer?

　

A volunteer? For what?

　

For the group. SFS

　

What group? What does that

mean? And why is this all written

in initials? There’s hardly any

words here

　

It’s written that way so you can’t read it,

thank god, which he didn’t want to

bother with but I’m sure he’ll

remember to thank me.

　

SFS is our group, Sexting For
Seniors. I guess your friend is
a volunteer, bless his heart

　

WTF?

　

Oh, you do know an acronym.

　

Our group is called Sexting
For Seniors

　

I can reverse phone book this

number you know

Yes but it won’t matter. The
SMSMS takes care of that

　

The what?

　

The text Masking System.
My grandson invented it. It masks
my number with an actual North
American phone number, which
you can text back to but if you call,
which we kn

ow not to do, you’ll
get the actual people at that
number who if you look up and
threaten in any way you’ll
probably get arrested

　

You’re so full of shit

　

And yet you sit there reading it.

　

Maybe we can talk later,
dear, when you feel better

　

No, we’re talking now. So you’re

a senior citizen with a sex group

　

Sext. Yes. I started the group
here locally, in Reykjavik, right
here in the Home, actually

　

You started a sex group in a

nursing home. In Iceland

Wow, I didn’t think you’d get Iceland.

　

Sext. Yes. Studies have shown
that seniors’ mental and physical
health benefit greatly from talking
dirty

　

And my boyfriend volunteered

for this

　

Apparently so. I do recognize
the number

　

I bet you do. What do these letters

mean?

　

Well, it’s hard to say out of
context

　

What does BHTBB mean?

　

Bare Hand To Bare Butt. Think, think.

　

Again, out of context but I
would say By His Truth Be Borne

　

That sounds religious

　

Not specifically, but the older
you get the more comforting
that stuff is

What’s MTIEHYH?

　

Damn. My Tongue In Every Hole You Have...

　

Are you there?

　

Yes dear, they’re just handing
out the meds. Don’t want to miss
that

　

WHAT’S MTIEHYH?

　

That would be May This In
Eternity Hold You High

　

Again with the religious

stuff? What’s sexy about that?

　

Personally I find the concept of an

eternally erect dick intriguing.

　

You’re putting the religious
connotation. I’d call it a more poetic
way of speaking from a different
generation

　

Which generation? Just how the

hell old are you supposed to be?

　

I’m seventy-five

　

Oh right. My boyfriend would never

sext a woman that old. That’s

disgusting. How can you do that?

I would never be with

a man that much younger.

　

What makes you think you could attract one?

　

As they say, different strokes

　

So how many other volunteers

are in this group?

　

Well, we’re not international
yet but there’s a good three or
four come in pretty steadily

　

Three or four? For how many other

horny old broads?

　

Oh, that’s just me right now. But
my roommate Gracie is joining, she
promised. And GK she owes me, the
hours I’ve put in on WWF with that
woman, she can’t

spell her own name

　

So you handle three or four guys

by yourself with your poetic

initials, which my boyfriend

understands. All day long

　

Sometimes

　

I’m coming for you. I’m gonna find

you bitch. I know this area code. I

Know you’re not 75 but it doesn’t

matter how old you are. I’m coming

for you. I’m gonna stomp your ass and

break your fingers.

　

Alright look lady, I’m a 12 year
old boy and it’s a felony to threaten
a minor over any type of social
media. So this counts. I’m telling my
Mom. I’m showing her right now

　

I’m coming for you

　

Hey, it’s me

　

Hey

　

Can you take my dog? I have to
be out of town for a while

　

Sure, how long?

　

Like, maybe a year?