Thursday, October 4, 2012


Who are you and why are
you texting my boyfriend?

This isn’t good. What was the last thing I told you yesterday?
DFTDT. Don’t Forget To Delete This.

Who are you and why are
you texting my boyfriend?

How did you get his phone? God, he’s an idiot.


Sorry, who are you?

I’m the girlfriend of the man you
texted 20,000 times yesterday

Yeah, that was fun.


I’m not understanding this.
You’re on someone else’s

I’m on my boyfriend’s phone
that has all the texts from your
number yesterday bitch. You
know what phone I’m on

I should convince her I’m a guy.
Let Himself deal with that.

Alright, no need for the
language. You mean your
boyfriend’s a volunteer?

A volunteer? For what?

For the group. SFS

What group? What does that
mean? And why is this all written
in initials? There’s hardly any
words here

It’s written that way so you can’t read it,
thank god, which he didn’t want to
bother with but I’m sure he’ll
remember to thank me.

SFS is our group, Sexting For
Seniors. I guess your friend is
a volunteer, bless his heart

Oh, you do know an acronym.

Our group is called Sexting
For Seniors

I can reverse phone book this
number you know

Yes but it won’t matter. The
SMSMS takes care of that

The what?

The text Masking System.
My grandson invented it. It masks
my number with an actual North
American phone number, which
you can text back to but if you call,
which we kn

ow not to do, you’ll
get the actual people at that
number who if you look up and
threaten in any way you’ll
probably get arrested

You’re so full of shit

And yet you sit there reading it.

Maybe we can talk later,
dear, when you feel better

No, we’re talking now. So you’re
a senior citizen with a sex group

Sext. Yes. I started the group
here locally, in Reykjavik, right
here in the Home, actually

You started a sex group in a
nursing home. In Iceland

Wow, I didn’t think you’d get Iceland.

Sext. Yes. Studies have shown
that seniors’ mental and physical
health benefit greatly from talking

And my boyfriend volunteered
for this

Apparently so. I do recognize
the number

I bet you do. What do these letters

Well, it’s hard to say out of

What does BHTBB mean?

Bare Hand To Bare Butt. Think, think.

Again, out of context but I
would say By His Truth Be Borne

That sounds religious

Not specifically, but the older
you get the more comforting
that stuff is


Damn. My Tongue In Every Hole You Have...

Are you there?

Yes dear, they’re just handing
out the meds. Don’t want to miss


That would be May This In
Eternity Hold You High

Again with the religious
stuff? What’s sexy about that?

Personally I find the concept of an
eternally erect dick intriguing.

You’re putting the religious
connotation. I’d call it a more poetic
way of speaking from a different

Which generation? Just how the
hell old are you supposed to be?

I’m seventy-five

Oh right. My boyfriend would never
sext a woman that old. That’s
disgusting. How can you do that?
I would never be with
a man that much younger.

What makes you think you could attract one?

As they say, different strokes

So how many other volunteers
are in this group?

Well, we’re not international
yet but there’s a good three or
four come in pretty steadily

Three or four? For how many other
horny old broads?

Oh, that’s just me right now. But
my roommate Gracie is joining, she
promised. And GK she owes me, the
hours I’ve put in on WWF with that
woman, she can’t

spell her own name

So you handle three or four guys
by yourself with your poetic
initials, which my boyfriend
understands. All day long


I’m coming for you. I’m gonna find
you bitch. I know this area code. I
Know you’re not 75 but it doesn’t
matter how old you are. I’m coming
for you. I’m gonna stomp your ass and
break your fingers.

Alright look lady, I’m a 12 year
old boy and it’s a felony to threaten
a minor over any type of social
media. So this counts. I’m telling my
Mom. I’m showing her right now

I’m coming for you

Hey, it’s me


Can you take my dog? I have to
be out of town for a while

Sure, how long?

Like, maybe a year?


  1. Emen,

    Very, very funny and clever.

    Thank you,


  2. The layout is amazing and the post is hilarious. And at what point do you come for the man (not the other woman)?

    1. There was that lady who ran over her husband then circled around and ran over him again, but that may be because he walked out of the hotel first.

      Thanks :)

  3. Oh, wow, did this actually happen? I'm not sure why one would come for the less easily attainable half of a transgressing couple... I suppose anonymity (on both sides) makes it so much easier to be hurtful.

    1. No, it didn't happen :)

      Not sure why the women seem to go for the other woman. The wronged men seem to shoot their wives and their lovers.

  4. I love it! Very cheeky!

    Mr. No Name

    1. Oh, BTW your pics are very intriguing, I would love to see more of you. The tattoos caught my ..... Ummmm....attention ;)

      Mr. No Name

    2.  Peut-être un jour vous donner une fessée à mes joues ou les embrasser.

      I have very little ink compared to present standards. But I had tattoos when women didn't have tattoos. I had to fight to get them. So I treasure. Merci.

  5. Very funny, Emen! Hmm, I guess I would go after both, the other woman and the man. Does that mean I am more like a guy? ;-)

    On a serious note: I am glad to know that Ludwig would never betray me. For me, trust is very essential for our love relationship.

    1. That means you're proactive :)

      I'm glad you have your Ludwig and your trust. It's very comforting to know of relationships like yours.

  6. ....and hilarity ensues!

    Love the humor, love the edge...


  7. Il faut être deux pour danser le tango! :o)

    Love this. Only wish it did happen. The citing the rule of a minor was pure tip? :P

    I needed laughter today and found it here.

    1. De rien. I thought the "minor" bit was inspired, given the rampant ageism :)

  8. This made me laugh. Thank you very much for it! ;)

  9. Omg, this is too funny! And how am I just finding out you have a blog??

  10. Thanks. Idk, I was on SBN for the first post but didn't really think of announcing any other way :)

  11. Emen, you are SO naughty! Good grief, I think you should be spanked for writing this. ;)

    1. I agree. Somehow I don't think spanking is what she has in mind when she says "I'm coming for you".